Faces of Suicide

Remembering ...

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Smith, Tracy
18 December 1962 - 13 February 1994
Harmony, Minnesota, USA

Our Remembrance
I met Tracy when he was 12 years old. He became my first boyfriend and my first love. He was my first kiss on my 16th birthday. His parents didn't like the fact that we loved each other and tried to keep us apart but we snuck around for years. We dated, on and off, for years. We were best friends. There was never anyone like him. He was a blonde bombshell with a body to match. Even though he was two years and 13 days younger than I was, we were meant to be. Even though we married other people, had kids and lost touch for a while, he was never out of my thoughts.
The day he died, my heart stopped beating. My whole world fell apart. No one ever loved Tracy like I did and I was distraught that I couldn't stop him from taking his own life. His funeral was the hardest. I sat with his sisters, wishing that he would get out of his casket. I wished him alive! Almost 20 years later, I still miss him so much, I still cry. My heart will always be broken.
I cherish the 19 years that we were friends and I will never forget our special friendship, our songs, our secret dates, our kisses, his letters to me, our walks around Minneapolis, our hopes or our dreams. His death was a crime as he left all of us devastated and extremely sad for the rest of our lives. But we can all take comfort in the fact that we knew him. I can take comfort in the fact that he loved me and I loved him. His son, Ivan, will be 18 soon. I want to find him so that I can tell him how much his Dad loved him and what a special person his Dad was.